MILLSTONE May 2018.2

As We Age No Stigma Network Young Woman Gets Her Life Back! By Pam Teel

Jennifer Meli was your typical high school student. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her that she had any kind of problem, but just four years prior, at seventeen years old, she was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. Her struggle and journey with mental illness stemmed from her childhood and progressively got worse as she got older. When Jenn was eleven, she and her family moved to Manalapan. Soon after their move, Jenn started to become very self-conscious. She hated the way she looked and she refused to go out and be seen in public. She kept her feelings to herself instead of sharing them with her parents or her friends. This continued into her high school years. In order to feel better about herself, she worked extremely hard to get good grades. She was on the honor roll every marking period. Her teachers loved her. She didn’t want her peers to see her as the overweight girl, but as a smart and beautiful young woman.

Although she came off as very shy and timid, Jenn was totally different around her friends and her family. She was always cracking jokes and laughing. She wanted to create the appearance of a perfect life, of which she really wasn’t living. When she was 16, she lost a loving uncle. His death came as a horrible shock to the whole family and contributed to the spiraling depression that she was about to fall into. During a Health Education class, Jenn fainted. The topic was about AIDS and HIV. She started to feel light-headed, nauseous, and sweaty. She had always had a phobia of blood but thought it was normal to experience those kinds of symptoms. When she got up to leave class, everything went black. After that incident, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to faint again. No matter what she did to occupy her mind, she always thought about it until it came to the point where she wasn’t able to stay in school for a full day. She started to experience daily panic attacks with body weakness, chest pains, cold sweats, heart palpitations, and loss of breath. Her depression worsened and she had a difficult time accomplishing the daily tasks of showering, sleeping, eating, and going out. She would cry constantly, often staying in bed all day. While her friends were enjoying their senior year of high school, Jenn was at home struggling just to live. After consulting with a psychiatrist, she was prescribed antidepressant medication, and she felt like she had no hope. Her mom fought hard to get Jenn the help she desperately needed, especially after Jenn told her parents that she wanted to end her life. Scared and upset, her mom called Mobile Response, a service that helps children who are experiencing an emotional or behavioral crisis. One of the responders who came to the house told them about Shrabanee Shah and her peer support organization for young adults called, No Stigma Network (NSN). Shortly after, Jenn and her mom met with Shrabanee. Through Shrabanee’s motivation, support, and encouragement, Jen has learned that she can and will overcome her mental illness. Being involved with NSN has encouraged her to have a positive outlook on life and never to give up. With their help and support, she was able to graduate from high school, find employment, and enroll in college. This coming May, she will have earned an Associate’s Degree from Brookdale Community College. Jenn currently works as an administrative assistant and as a substitute paraprofessional. In September 2018, she will continue on her journey to become a Special Education teacher at Georgian Court University. “In my lifetime I hope to help individuals who suffer with a mental illness, just as Shrabanee encouraged and helped me. I am currently an active member of No Stigma Network’s support group, the board of directors, and several committees. I was able to lay the foundation for NSN’s first website, which I continue to maintain and update regularly. I also manage NSN’s Facebook page. I have spoken in public about my personal story and about NSN. I am always glad to speak to new NSN members about my experiences and how participating in NSN’s programs has strengthened and empowered me,” Jenn stated. “I suffer from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, but these conditions do not define me. My life is mine, and my existence is as valid as that of any other person.” Jenn’s story is one of success where she learned how to control her deepest anxieties. If you are struggling with the same anxieties, symptoms and thoughts of suicide do yourself a favor and tell someone; a teacher, a parent, a professional. Your life is worth saving. With the proper help, things can only get better. Mobile Response and Stabilization Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to help children and youth who are experiencing emotional or behavioral crises. The services are designed to defuse an immediate crisis, keep children and their families’ safe, and maintain the children in their own homes or current living situation (such as a foster home, treatment home or group home) in the community. To access services call: 1-877- 652-7624 No Stigma Network: call Linda Van Melis 732-939 -2092 More information is available on NSN’s website: nostigmanetwork.com, and the Meetup site: Meetup.org/Freehold/Wellness/Meetup/. You may contact NSN directly by email: nostigmanetwork@gmail.com.

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