The Millstone Times March 2020

KIDS What to Do When Your Kids Lie to You By Nicole Iuzzolino

To parents, their kids are their angels. They believe that they will be honest with them always. However, as they age, they may begin to spread little, white lies. When they are eventually caught in a lie, their parents are left devastated, and believe they can never trust their child again. But, there are some reasons as to why your child may resort to lying. For example, they may not think it is a hurtful lie, even though they know it to be ‘against the rules”. Sometimes kids do not see the lie as hurtful at all, as the lie does not ultimately hurt others. It is ex- tremely important not to jump to being angry as well, as you want to hear out their reasonings for doing so. Here are 5 ways to handle lying with your kids. 1. Do Not Lecture Empowering Parents explains that any lecture will just go over your child’s head and they will automatically tune you out. It is much better to tell the child what you are concerned about and how they can fix the problem in the future. This is the best way for your child to un- derstand that lying can potentially be hurtful and how to stop it. 2. Encourage Honesty!

RaisingChildren.com states to encourage honesty by encouraging imagination. For example, if your child begins to tell a made up story, make sure to emphasize that it is a really good story. Make sure to also say that it could be made into a good book. The idea is to emphasize the imagination not the lying. 3. Show Them The Consequences Childmind.org explains that by praising your kids when they do tell the truth, it will make them more inclined to tell the truth. Also, reducing the con- sequences can help as well. This encourages an open dialogue and makes the parent look like less of a tyrant. However, make sure your child does not continue to negotiate the consequences you want to reduce. 4.Use Truth Checks Truth checks is a tool used to give your child a second chance and think through their lie. A doctor who studied children and their lies explains that when your child lies to say, “I’m going to walk away and give you 10 minutes and then I’m going to come back and ask you again. If you change your mind and want to give me a different answer, it’s just a truth check and you won’t get in trouble.” 5. Perfection Is Not Necessary The most important thing is to make sure your child knows they do not have to be perfect either. It is okay to slip up every once in a while and make some mistakes. So it is important for the child to know that they can learn from their mistakes.

10 The Millstone Times

March 2020